My folks

Dear Idaho,

I'm so grateful to my parents for their unbelievable generosity. Not just with money, but with their time and energy. They flew out here this weekend and did chores the whole weekend. They made countless trips to hardware stores in an effort to shore up mouseholes and seal air leaks around the house.

And J never ceases to amaze me: when he realized that it was a big deal to me that he be around while my parents were visiting, he changed his plans so he was home all day Saturday. I don't know if he understands how much that meant to me.

I feel very lucky.

-S

every. single. day.

Dear J,

I can't quite explain how much I love you. You tell me you love me more than I love you and I put up an itty bitty fight then just agree with you. I don't know how to convince you but I can't imagine how you could possibly love me more than I love you.

I try thanking you for all that you do for me but even that doesn't come out right. I'm very grateful that you got my car cleaned (she's so beautiful!). I've never had such a clean car and that was so thoughtful and kind. It blows my mind on a daily basis how sweet you are. But it's so much more than getting my car cleaned. It's the way you hold my hand at night and the smile on your face and your stubborn refusal to kiss me till Thursday because you don't want me to get sick. It's the way you cook and take into account my weight watchers nonsense, and the way you patiently listen while I ramble on and on about points and pounds. You hugged me yesterday when work sent me crashing down to sadness and even though work still sucked ass, you were there and everything was ok. It's even little things like emptying the dishwasher when the dishes are clean because then I don't have to do it, which is just so sweet. Or cleaning up before my parents come into town!

You got me the sweetest cards for Valentines Day and my birthday. I didn't even know how to respond but the idea of you reading the cards at the store, thinking that they expressed what you wanted to say....they meant a lot to me. And you passed on a trip to Sacramento! You make me feel lucky every day.

Today, I have no idea how to express this to you, how to tell you how big my love for you is, or why I love you more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend the rest of my life trying to show you how much I love you, every. single. day.

S

He's better!

Dear Idaho,

I'm so happy J's feeling better! I felt terrible for him while he was sick but I'm so happy he's feeling better! Yippee!!!

And I'm really grateful to him for standing up for me. That was really sweet and made me feel really loved.

Thanks!

S

Happy Birthday

Dear Idaho,

First, J woke up at midnight (after a particularly active weekend, we were in bed by 9 last night) to wish me a happy 30th birthday. You have no idea how nice it is to sleep next to him. He holds my hand and pushes my hair off my face and tells me to go to sleep and I feel so safe and loved with him. I've probably told you this a thousand times but it's the best feeling in the world.

Then, I walked into my office this morning to find that the Rock Star, Tivo, and Special K had covered my office in streamers, ribbons, balloons and signs about being 30. They bought me a purple and silver crown, trimmed with tinsel, which reads "Birthday Princess" and they've got me wearing necklaces of beads. They got me presents!, and cake!, and took me to lunch! And now I can't move because I am SO STUFFED. I'm not even bothering with tracking my weight watchers points this week; I'm just trying to be good.

Mom, Dad, the New Yorker and Ensie all called to wish me a happy birthday. Tall T, my friend Maria, Em from Back East, and Firecracker all emailed their wishes.

It's been a fabulous day. Thank you!!!!

-S

More about J

Dear Idaho,

I'm so grateful to have someone who makes me feel so safe and loved. There was some weirdness this weekend but J didn't make me feel like I misunderstood or was making things up. And with the whole mouse thing, he was great. And he just hugged me and I love him. He was really helpful getting things ready and he's always so kind and sweet to me.

I got to hang out with his brothers this weekend, too, and they are just great. They made me really comfortable and were so gracious and grateful for even the smallest things. I had a lot of fun with them and I loved seeing the smile on J's face when he was with them.

I got to spend time with lots of friends on Sunday and that was fantastic and Friday night, I had dinner with Firecracker. I miss hanging out with her but we had a really good time and made plans to hang out more.

Overall, fabulous weekend, fabulous boyfriend, fabulous brothers, fabulous friends.

S

I love him.

Dear Idaho,

I love him I love him I love him. I stayed home sick yesterday, all crampy and tired. J was off, too, and it was his birthday! I actually got more work done yesterday from home than I would've had I come in, so that was nice, and then I got stuff done around the house. J ran errands like a mad man and was just super productive. In the evening, we all dressed up all fancy and picked up his car from the mechanic. The Mechanic. Who fixed his car after three weeks for less than $500. Who FIXED HIS CAR! Amazing. It wasn't so bad living without a car for the past few weeks. J was great about picking me up and dropping me off all over town. But I'm so happy to have my sweet Pride and Joy back in my hands. From there, we hit up a fancy steakhouse to celebrate his birthday and the waiters sang to him. Seriously - no idea how they knew it was his birthday since I went out of my way not to tell them. But whatever, he took it well and I was the only one obviously blushing.

So all in all, it was a great day but those things weren't the big things. In bed last night, he brushed my hair off my forehead and kissed my cheek. He held my hand while I slept and I just can't tell you how much I love this man.

-S